What is the hardest thing you forgave?
Ooooo isn't the hardest question? I know you are probably sitting there thinking really hard about forgiveness. You may be thinking of something you want to forgive, but just can't (yet), it may be something you worked really hard to find peace with, it maybe be something you have done yourself and you are waiting to be forgiven. We all carry something, something that is hard to think about.
Whenever I think of forgiveness, it takes me back to my religion and going to confession. If you have never heard of this, it is when you go speak with a priest and share something that is weighing heavy on your heart. I remember my first time. I was so scared because I didn't want anyone to be mad at me, I didn't want to think I did something wrong and looked down on. Being in 4th grade, I made up some story about being mean to my sister, which probably was true in some extent but was just something to say. As I got older, I learned it was more of a conversation with a third party, not related to the situation who was just trying to help me give myself the gift of forgiving myself for something I was sincerely not proud of.
I also learned, if I live my life with the moral code and standards I have set for myself, I have less need for confession conversations and more need to have conversations on how to strengthen the walls of the house I live in. And that requires some intense cleaning, especially behind doors that you just don't want to open. All those doors, all those walls, all those crevices building who I am today.
When someone does something wrong, it is easy to forget all the things they did right. Holding onto the wrong only hurts me and makes my house weak.
Remember all the building blocks of the house you live in - the strongly shaped and the ones that crumbled. Remember the people who were helping you build. Maybe they weren't the right contractor at the time but it opened you up to finding the right one to fix the mistakes and for you to move on. If you haven't moved on, there is no greater gift than giving yourself the gift of forgiveness. It's the imperfectly perfect wrapped package of the journey you are living.
#embracethehellyeah
~AE
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